


In Which Sollux Captor Does Not Understand Karkat At All and Tavros Believes That Everyone Deserves A Second Chance

by cupcake_kei, vulcanhighblood



Series: Bad Decisions Beget Worse Decisions [3]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Mentions of Dubcon, Minor Gamzee Makara/Tavros Nitram, Minor Sollux Captor/Feferi Peixes, eridan is also full of self-loathing, karkat is full of self-loathing, no actual dubcon in this fic, so many ship, sollux does not understand, sollux is done, tavros is worried, weird pale ships incoming, where did all this pale crap come from
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-29 03:18:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7668130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cupcake_kei/pseuds/cupcake_kei, https://archiveofourown.org/users/vulcanhighblood/pseuds/vulcanhighblood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat is moping, convinced that he is a terrible excuse for a troll. Of course he unloads all of his baggage on Sollux, who is never not in the mood.<br/>Tavros worries, and his worry has found a new target: Eridan, since everyone seems to hate him now for some reason...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1 - The Worst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading part three of the BDBWD-verse, a weird, increasingly complex story that started out as a simple "lets add yet another 'heat au' to the homestuck fanfiction archive" and is turning into a dramatic romantic epic that will likely span far too many fics.  
> Enjoy!

“It has come to my attention that I am literally the worst troll to walk the face of this planet and nothing you say will ever convince me otherwise,” Karkat declared with a voice loud enough to wake the dead, walking into Sollux’s hive like he owned it.

Sollux glanced up from his husktop, raising an eyebrow at Karkat. The troll had a flair for the dramatic at the best of times, so these sorts of outbursts were a fairly regular occurrence. “What did you do this time?” Sollux was already typing again, lisping on the word ‘this’ so it sounded more like ‘thith’.

“What did I do? Nothing much, just the usual: exploiting trolls for sexual favors and seriously injuring trolls because they owe me one,” Karkat declared, falling onto Sollux’s floor in a dramatic mock faint. “Every time I do something it’s a mistake. Never let me do anything ever again.” 

“If I knew how to stop you from being an ass, I would stop you,” Sollux retorted, turning away from his computer, realizing that the nubby-horned nuisance wasn’t going to leave him alone until he’d had his say. “And what’s this about sexual favors? Do I get to hear about your lewd escapades or are you not one to kiss and tell?”

Karkat groaned, nose pressed into Sollux’s carpet. Sollux considered warning Karkat about how long it had been since he’d cleaned up in here, but figured that the small troll could smell the distinctive odor of stale socks and snacks without a reminder, and would move whenever he damn well felt like it, and not a moment sooner. “What am I going to do?” Karkat moaned, voice muffled by the carpet.

Sollux sighed. He hated it when Karkat got like this. Sollux wasn’t any good with emotions, his own head was always so mixed up he couldn’t even think clearly about his own problems, much less someone else’s. But somehow Karkat was always the exception. Talking about feelings  _ sucked _ , but at least with Karkat, it sucked a little less, somehow. “Do you want to talk about it?” Sollux asked, trying to sound patient but coming across as annoyed more than anything else.

“No,” Karkat said petulantly, rolling onto his back, nose wrinkled. “Your floor stinks.”

“I know,” Sollux dismissed the complaint with a wave of his hand. “What happened?” 

Karkat made a loud unhappy noise. It could have been words, but Sollux didn’t think Karkat was putting much effort into articulation. “I don’t speak Lusus,” Sollux said, patience already wearing thin. “Do you want to talk? Or do you just want to lay on the ground until you become one with the carpet?”

“I did a terrible, horrible thing, Sollux,” Karkat said after a long moment of silence, not meeting his friend’s bi-colored gaze.

Sollux knew Karkat had more to say (he  _ always _ had more to say), so he waited. A few beats passed, and Karkat spoke again.

“I… you know how my heat is basically a constant thing?”

Sollux nodded, then verbally responded in the form of a noncommittal ‘hmm’ since Karkat still wasn’t looking anywhere but the ceiling. 

“Well, one of the trolls I know is really… I dunno, lonely, I guess. And they screwed with me awhile back, so I guess they felt bad about that too.” Karkat’s voice was high and reedy, like he was holding back tears. Oh god, Sollux really hoped Karkat wouldn’t cry, he didn’t think he could handle something like that. 

“And I guess I was still really pissed at them, more than I even realized, so…” Karkat sniffled. “I…” He trailed off there, and the room was silent for almost a full minute.

Sollux felt impatience crawling up and down his spine like tiny insects. “KK, are you going to fucking tell me or do I need to beg? Spoiler alert: I don’t beg.” 

Karkat covered his eyes with his hands, nearly obscuring his face. “I told them if they wanted to hang out they had to suck my bulge,” Karkat said, so quickly it took Sollux entirely too long to work out exactly what Karkat had said.

“You  _ what _ ,” Sollux said flatly. It was almost a question, almost not a question. “Holy shit, did they actually do it?”

“Yes,” Karkat said, far too miserably for someone who had apparently been  _ getting some  _ from a random acquaintance in the recent past. He lifted his hands, turning them as though they were suddenly the most fascinating things in all of Alternia.

“Once?” Sollux asked, fishing for details. 

Karkat shook his head.

“Twice?” Sollux tried again.

Karkat flung an arm over his eyes. “Eight. Fucking. Times.”

Sollux blinked. “What the hell? That’s…” Sollux did the math, “...almost three perigees.”

“I know,” Karkat whined.

“Karkat you had someone sucking your bulge for three fucking perigees and you never bothered to tell me?” Sollux wasn’t sure whether to be impressed or jealous. 

Karkat made another unhappy noise, and finally looked at Sollux. “I hurt them,” he said softly, tears shining unshed in his eyes. “It  _ hurt _ and they didn’t tell me and FUCK I AM THE WORST FUCKING TROLL WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE EVER FUCKING-” Karkat screamed then, a wordless cry of rage, and he stuffed the back of his hand against his mouth, biting down, muffling the sound. He calmed then, breathing heavily, once again staring at the ceiling.

Sollux spent several agonizing seconds deciphering the sheer blast of sound that had been directed at him. “You mean… this friend was giving you head even though it was causing them harm?” Sollux felt very out-of-his-depth with this conversation.

Karkat nodded miserably, unable to look Sollux in the eye.

“And… I am assuming they  _ don’t _ get off on pain,” Sollux added after a moment.  _ This is the most embarrassing conversation, _ he thought bitterly. He was not good at this, he just wanted to get back to coding. 

“Not even a little,” Karkat said miserably.

Sollux wondered a bit at that, but did  _ not _ want to delve any deeper into the territory of ‘intimate details’ so he didn’t press for more information. He contemplated the information he’d been given so far. “So you hurt someone and used their situation to get something from them,” he said slowly, the pieces of the puzzle slowly falling into place. “And now you feel bad about it?”

“I didn’t  _ know  _ I was hurting him,” Karkat said explosively, almost sitting up before slumping back down defeatedly. “He didn’t  _ tell _ me it hurt, and I never bothered to  _ ask _ .” Karkat covered his eyes with his hands. “I just found out about it.”

Sollux noted that Karkat had accidentally revealed the gender of the individual in question - a worked up Karkat wasn’t usually all that good at keeping details under wraps - but he didn’t want to cause Karkat any more distress, so he chose to ignore the slip-up. “… did you apologize?” Sollux asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” Karkat huffed sadly.

“Did they accept your apology?” Sollux continued, beginning to feel confused about what all the drama was for.

“Yeah…” Karkat answered hesitantly.

“So where’s the fucking problem?” Sollux demanded irritably. “Fucking hell, KK, you had your bulge sucked, they got hurt, you apologized, they said its ok, where is the big deal? This does not explain your drama, _ god, _ you’re such a wiggler!”

“I didn’t hurt them  _ once _ ,” Karkat felt the need to clarify, “I hurt them  _ every. Single. Fucking. Time. _ ” 

“So you hurt them every fucking time. Isn’t that sort of like blackrom?” Sollux was really not understanding where Karkat was coming from, and honestly he wasn’t very good at this whole talking about feelings thing. He was irritated and not sure why Karkat was so worked up over this.

Karkat sat up so fast Sollux could have sworn he’d given himself whiplash. “That is  _ not _ how blackrom works and you  _ know  _ it.” 

“Right...okay...my bad,” Sollux backpedaled, lifting his hands slightly in a gesture of surrender. “So then… you feel bad for hurting them even though as soon as you found out you stopped?”

“Right,” Karkat agreed.

“You feel guilty... for doing the right thing.”

“I shouldn’t have manipulated them in the first place!” Karkat insisted. “I should have seen the signs!”

“What signs?” Sollux felt baffled.

“They didn’t  _ want _ to. I  _ made _ them!” Karkat was wringing his hands, still sitting up, eyes pleading with Sollux to understand. He’d made a big mess out of everything, he should have respected Eridan’s boundaries but he  _ hadn’t _ . He should have made sure Eridan was okay after the fact but he  _ hadn’t _ . He was an awful troll and why couldn’t Sollux  _ understand _ that he’d been cruel and terrible and deserved so much worse? “Now they have to spend an  _ entire perigee _ recovering because their chute is so torn up they can’t even fucking  _ talk _ .”

Sollux nodded serenely. “I see,” he said, “So you feel guilty. About something they’ve already decided wasn’t as important as hanging out with you. And you are determined to be miserable the entire perigee it takes them to heal.”

“Yes! No! What?” Karkat blinked hard. “Sollux, I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” Sollux replied, feeling his temple begin to throb. Why did talking to Karkat always have to give him a headache? He was so  _ loud  _ and  _ emotional _ . 

“I did a terrible thing,” Karkat said again, as if this would somehow change Sollux’s opinion of him.

“And you aren’t doing it anymore. It’s over. Move on.” Sollux scowled. Why was this such a difficult concept for the nubby troll to grasp?

“But-”

“What else are you supposed to do? Suck their bulge the next time you see them?” Sollux demanded irritably.

Karkat shut his mouth quickly, a look of contemplation crossing his features.

“Holy shit KK, you’re not actually considering it, are you?  I was being sarcastic,” Sollux said slowly. 

Karkat forced a laugh that didn’t fool either of them, and then shrugged. “I guess it’s a dumb idea,” he agreed, but in his mind wheels began turning.  _ Maybe if I let him punish me I won’t feel so guilty anymore, _ he thought. It was tempting, not to mention that he wouldn’t mind getting another look at Eridan’s bulge. He didn’t remember much about Eridan’s body besides what he’d seen in his ablution trap after  _ choking _ the seadweller with his mutant bulge. Still, he knew that if Eridan’s bulge was anything like his body, it would be smooth, elegant, and  _ very sexy _ . Karkat kind of wanted the chance to see if that were the case and he doubted he’d find another excuse to get a close look at the sea troll’s intimate anatomy any time soon.

Sollux was watching Karkat in concern as the troll’s expression shifted from pensive to shameful, then flushing madly before finally settling into a look of determination. Whatever the smaller troll had been thinking, he seemed to have made up his mind. “So, are you okay now? Can I get back to my coding?” Sollux asked after a moment. 

“Yeah, sure,” Karkat said dismissively, flopping back down on Sollux’s floor.

“No, please, do make yourself at home. It’s not like you’ve got a hive of your own or anything,” Sollux growled.

Karkat snorted. “Your lithhhhp sounds funny,” he said mockingly before wiggling around and finding a more comfortable position. “I think I’ll stay here awhile,” he said.

Sollux failed to hide the look of amusement that crossed his features. “Fine,” he said, “Just be quiet.”

He didn’t expect Karkat to  _ actually _ be quiet, so when several minutes passed without Karkat saying anything, Sollux turned around to see that the small troll had dropped off to sleep right there on the floor. With a sigh, Sollux lugged the troll over to his recuperacoon - he wasn’t really planning on sleeping anytime soon anyway - and let the troll settle down, his nose scrunching up slightly in his sleep. Sollux brushed the hair away from Karkat’s face, tapping the wrinkled nose with a sigh before moving back across the respiteblock to begin typing anew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters coming soon, we hope!  
> As always, thanks for reading!


	2. Part 2 - Its a (NOT)Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat panics when Eridan finally contacts him after a perigee of radio silence.

True to his word, it was about a perigee before Eridan trolled Karkat, asking if they were still on for romcom night at Karkat’s hive or if he should forget about it. The ensuing exchange of messages sent Karkat into a panicked tizzy.

caligulasAquarium(CA) began trolling carcinoGeneticist(CG)

CA: hey kar  
CA: so  
CA: you said maybe wwe could wwatch romcoms at your hivve  
CA: a course if you dont wwant to  
CA: i wwant you to feel comfortable  
CG: OH MY GOD ERIDAN WHY THE FUCK DID IT TAKE YOU SO LONG TO TROLL ME? HONESTLY WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK? I HAVE BEEN METAPHORICALLY MARINATING IN THE POOL OF HOOFBEAST SHIT I CALL MY THINKPAN WAITING FOR YOU TO INFORM ME THAT MY PRESENCE IN YOUR LIFE WOULD NOT DRIVE YOU TO END IT PREMATURELY.  
CA: is that a yes  
CG: YES. THAT IS A FUCKING YES. YES. LET US WATCH SHITTY ROMCOMS IN MY HIVE. DO I HAVE TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU? I WILL ARTFULLY ARRANGE THE SHIT FROM MY WASTECHUTE TO CRAFT AN ABSTRACT WORK OF ART DEPICTING THE VARIOUS WAYS IN WHICH YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY WELCOME TO VISIT MY HIVE AND WATCH SHITTY ROMCOMS WITH ME.  
CA: ok  
CA: so anywway  
CA: i think i still need about twwo wweeks  
CA: my wwindchute is mostly okay but i dont wwanna take any chances  
CG: OKAY. TWO WEEKS. ITS A DATE.  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: ITS A PLATONIC DATE.  
CG: NO. WAIT. SHIT.  
CA: its a plan?  
CG: ITS A PLAN. ITS A FUCKING PLAN. ITS A FUCKING MASTERFUL PLAN.  
CA: see you in twwo wweeks then  
CG: YES. TWO WEEKS.

caligulasAquarium(CA) ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist(CG)

Karkat wanted to beat his head on his husktop, but that wouldn’t solve anything. What the actual fuck? A _date_? They were supposed to be starting _over_ , not starting a _relationship_ in the concupiscent OR conciliatory quadrants! Thank god Eridan had been kind enough to give him an out, Karkat wanted to rip his thinkpan out of his head and give it a talking-to. He still felt bad about everything, and honestly, it had been such a relief when Eridan had finally sent him a message. He’d been moping around Sollux’s hive for weeks at this point, and Sollux kept telling him to message the troll, but Karkat _couldn’t_ , not after what he’d done! What if Eridan changed his mind?

That sent another shock of terror through Karkat’s system. What if Eridan changed his mind? What if? He might come for romcoms and decide that Karkat wasn’t worth it, that he actually hated Karkat. He might decide to not even come after all. Karkat _needed_ this, he needed to _redeem_ himself, to show Eridan that he knew how wrong he was! Eridan had to understand that he was so, _so_ sorry, and he couldn’t do that if Eridan decided not to give Karkat the time of day. And what had Karkat done? He’d fucking called it a _date_. As if everyone didn’t know that Eridan still harbored unrequited flushed feelings towards Feferi. It had always been obvious to everyone but the heiress herself.  Eridan still had it bad, and even though Feferi had filled her flushed quadrant, Eridan still seemed to hold on to hope. Or maybe he was just really bad at letting things go. Probably a little of both, Karkat decided.

And then Karkat had gone and called their plans a _date_. As if someone like Eridan would ever be interested in someone like _him_. All you had to do was look at the difference between himself and Feferi and it was obvious that Eridan would never be interested in someone like him. Where Feferi was all elegance and soft, sensual curves, Karkat was small and squat and painfully awkward. Where Feferi giggled softly and hummed to herself, sometimes gushing excitedly, other times her words slow and languid, always with that soft lilt to her musical tone, Karkat came with two settings  - obnoxiously loud, and _even more_ obnoxiously loud.  And crude. And crass. Feferi had long, flowing, locks of hair that seemed to defy gravity, softer and silkier than anything in existence. Karkat’s hair was coarse, brittle, and never cooperated, standing up and pointing in all directions at once.

Feferi was a goddess. Karkat was… not.

Cradling his head in his hands, Karkat tried to slow his pounding bloodpusher. “He probably didn’t think anything of it,” he told himself, unsuccessfully trying to calm himself. He squeezed his eyes shut, reaching up to grab a handful of his rough hair, running his fingers through it before he gripped hard, the pain anchoring him for a moment. “You’ll be fine,” Karkat told himself. He sat back, his respiteblock seemed to be closing in on him, and for a moment it was hard to breathe. He couldn’t be here right now, not when Eridan might still _hate_ him, and Eridan was coming in two weeks and fffffuuuuuuck he couldn’t do this right now.

His hive felt like a reminder of every mistake, every terrible thing that had happened to him lately, and he couldn’t stand to be there a moment longer. Karkat pushed himself to his feet and went to find Sollux. He was an asshole, but at least Karkat could relax when he was at Sollux’s hive. He hoped that resolving things with Eridan might help him feel more comfortable in his own hive again. If not, he wasn’t sure what he would do. What he could do.

 _What do you do when your home is no longer a home?_ Karkat wondered miserably. He had no answer. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to find one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is so short, but the next one is really long and it just seemed like this would work better as a stand-alone chapter rather than being tied to the next part.  
> Thanks so much for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, feel free to drop a line in the comments below!


	3. Tavros Makes an Appearance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tavros has been hanging out with Karkat, Sollux, Gamzee, and Feferi for awhile, and he can't help but notice how Anti-Eridan the group seems to have become lately...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's baaaaaaaaaaack

When Tavros arrived at Sollux’s hive for video games, he wasn't all that surprised to see Karkat was already there. The small troll was sitting on Sollux’s couch, looking miserable. “Hi, uh, Karkat,” Tavros said, “And, uh, hi Sollux. I brought some snacks,” he said, gesturing to the bag he was carrying.  _ Of course you brought snacks, _ Tavros thought to himself, immediately feeling a thousand times more self-conscious.  _ Why would you say something so obvious? _ He scooted the rest of the way into Sollux’s hive, moving away from the door. Sollux shut it for him, looking somewhere between pissed and amused. So. He was probably in a pretty good mood. 

“I’ll take those,” Sollux offered, “I can put them in some bowls,” he said.

“Thum bowlth,” Karkat stage-whispered from the couch. It seemed to cheer him up a little.

Sollux rolled his eyes.

“Okay, uh, here,” Tavros said quickly, handing the bag to Sollux and ignoring Karkat’s mockery. He always felt a little bit uncomfortable around people who made fun of other trolls’ weaknesses, he’d had too many bad experiences with a certain cerulean blooded troll, but Sollux didn’t seem overly bothered by it. It even seemed to amuse him, to the point where Sollux sometimes went out of his way to say ‘s’ words in Karkat’s presence. Tavros wasn’t over nearly as often as Karkat, but if he had to hazard a guess, he would say that he, and sometimes Gamzee, were more frequent guests than the others. 

Gamzee had been Karkat’s moirail when they were younger, but it hadn’t worked out. From what he understood, the two remained on friendly enough terms, and Tavros had found himself a part of the group after Karkat had invited him over for games one night. Tavros had mentioned in passing that he was trying to find activities where he could make non-FLARPing friends since in his current condition FLARP was a bad idea, and Karkat had  _ insisted _ . And kept insisting. Before long, it was just a given that he would show up for game night with the rest of them.

Tavros wasn’t great at gaming, but he wasn’t so bad as to screw up the in-game dynamic. Gamzee was terrible, but the other two seemed content to put up with him and also scream expletives at him repeatedly and at increasingly loud volumes until he did whatever it was that they needed. Tavros had been pretty uncomfortable the first few times he’d come over, until he realized that the vitriol wasn’t serious, just part of their gaming personalities. It wasn’t really his style, but then again, his style wasn’t particularly common among trolls. He’d found himself feeling uncomfortable a second time when Feferi had started making more frequent appearances, as the addition of a new person to the group made him worry that he might become superfluous. He just showed up for game nights, he wasn’t really part of the tight-knit group, at least, he didn’t think he was.

Fortunately, Feferi was really good at games, so she would often switch out with Gamzee, who liked watching more than he liked to actually play. The loud swearing kept up, but fortunately, Tavros was practiced enough to not make a total fool of himself, despite being a much weaker player compared to the others. Sollux and Karkat mostly shouted and swore at each other, rather than at the other two players. Tavros appreciated that, although of course during vs rounds everyone was shouting so it was hard to tell who was shouting at whom and what the reason was.

After games,Tavros would sometimes stick around for snacks and chatting, and if they played a less intense game, sometimes the chatting would occur during gameplay. Tavros didn’t usually contribute much, content to just listen. Gamzee either felt similarly, or he just wasn’t able to keep up with the pace of the conversation. Tavros wasn’t sure which, since sometimes Gamzee would comment something that seemed intended for a conversation that had been taking place several minutes previous. Other times, Gamzee seemed very observant or on top of things, cocking his head and listening intently, nodding, his unruly mop of hair bouncing as he did, dark eyes fixed on the troll speaking, a look of deep concentration on his features.

At the moment, his gaze was fixed on the screen before them, as their characters fought their way through increasingly powerful foes. Sollux was swearing at one challenger in particular, who seemed determined to avoid every one of his strikes. “You are literally the most infuriatingly asinine troll to ever wield a rifle,” Sollux snarled, “and trust me,” he continued, tossing an incendiary device and crowing as his foe took a decent amount of damage, “I know some pretty asinine trolls who wield rifles,” he growled. “Hah. Fucking  _ eat my shit _ , asshole,” he continued, firing repeatedly. “Fuck you, fuck you, eat shit, yeah, fuck you ED, fuck youuuuuuu yyyyESSS!” he crowed, “finally!” He paused, glancing up and realized that Tavros, along with Feferi, Karkat, Eridan, and Gamzee were all looking at him.  “What?” he asked.

After a moment, Feferi hummed noncommittally, returning her attention to the melee. Karkat shrugged, then resumed shouting at the screen.

Tavros and Gamzee exchanged a confused look. What was that? Why had Sollux just called one of their adversaries the same thing he always called Eridan? Why had he gone on to completely destroy the effigy of Eridan? Why hadn’t Feferi or Karkat called him on that? Were they all supposed to hate Eridan now? Why? Tavros wanted to know what was going on, but he didn’t feel comfortable broaching the subject.

Gamzee had no such qualms. “Do I need to be getting my motherfucking hate on?” he sounded remarkably calm, if a bit confused. Then again, Gamzee always sounded pretty calm, now that Tavros thought about it. It made Tavros feel safe, especially considering how loud and crude Sollux and Karkat could be. “‘cause i don’t know how I feel about gettin’ my rage on with a motherfucker when I dont even up and know what he did.”

Sollux sighed, focused on the screen, eyebrows pinching downwards at the center of his forehead, his jaw tight with tension. “Look, it’s none of my business to go talking about shit,” he said, “because it’s not my story to tell - fuck youuuu! yesss! - but he’s an embarrassment to trollkind and if i see him again i will cull him,” he lobbed another incendiary, cheered when it took out several low-level enemies, then continued. “Or at least chop off his bulge. Maybe both. But not in that order.” He pounded his game controller, firing madly into the fray, not taking his eyes off the screen.

Tavros felt slightly sick. Sollux sounded entirely too serious, especially considering that his matesprit was supposedly Eridan’s moirail. He glanced worriedly at Feferi, but she seemed to be focused on the game as well, the hint of a frown on her face the only indication that she’d heard anything at all.

Gamzee tilted his head, face crinkled in a look of profound befuddlement. “Well if you won’t tell a motherfucker what our fishy friend up and did, how can you expect a motherfucker to let you talk shit like it’s no big deal?”

Karkat shifted uncomfortably. “Just leave it, Gamzee,” he said after a moment. “You too, Sollux. It’s not worth getting worked up over.”

“Fuck you, KK, if I want to be pissed I’m going to be fucking pissed,” Sollux growled.

Everyone was silent for a moment, then Karkat said softly, “pithhhhhed.”

Sollux groaned and rolled his eyes, and they went back to playing after that, and nothing more was said on the matter. 

After Tavros made it back to his hive, he couldn’t stop thinking about how  _ no one _ had risen to Eridan’s defense. Well. Gamzee had at least asked, but he hadn’t spoken in favor of Eridan. Admittedly, he didn’t know the whole story. But he wondered at the fact that Feferi hadn’t even tried to defend Eridan. That seemed like a really dysfunctional relationship. Not that Tavros was really a shining example of good relationship decisions. But at least he didn’t have a moirail who wouldn’t defend him when he was being metaphorically killed and threatened on no uncertain terms.

Tavros contemplated for a bit, then decided that if Feferi wouldn’t speak in Eridan’s defense, she probably hadn’t been putting much effort into other aspects of the relationship. He wondered absently if Eridan was okay, and that nagging question followed him through his daily rituals until he was ready to fall into his recuperacoon. He couldn’t bring himself to just sleep though, not with his thinkpan all muddled with concerns and his bloodpusher twisted in little knots. Why had Eridan’s friends all decided he wasn’t worth their effort? Would that ever happen to Tavros, too? He was so concerned, he needed to know that Eridan was doing all right.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Tavros pulled up Trollian and began typing.

adiosToreador (AT) began trolling caligulasAquarium (CA)

AT: uH, hI,

AT: i WAS JUST, uH, wONDERING IF YOU WERE OKAY,

AT: bECAUSE, uH, wE HAVEN’T REALLY TALKED IN AWHILE AND I WAS WORRIED A LITTLE BIT,

AT: aNYWAY, i’M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU,

CA: oh hey 

CA: its no bother

CA: actually im pretty bored

AT: oH, wELL, iN THAT CASE I GUESS IF YOU WANTED TO TALK SOME MORE THAT WOULD BE OKAY WITH ME,

CA: i mean

CA: i wwouldnt mind but

CA: dont feel like you havve to

CA: im not exactly popular right noww

AT: i, uH, nOTICED THAT,

AT: wHICH ACTUALLY IS WHY I THOUGHT,

AT: mAYBE YOU MIGHT WANT TO, uH, tALK ABOUT THINGS,

CA: im not gonna be spreadin around gossip or rumors so if thats wwhat youre anglin for ill stop u right there

AT: nO, i JUST, tHOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE LONELY,

CA: oh

AT: i CAN GO,

CA: no its ok i wwas just surprised is all

CA: wwhat do you wwant to talk about

AT: aRE YOU OK?

CA: mind elaboratin on that?

AT: oH, wELL, i WAS WORRIED THAT MAYBE YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ANYONE IN AWHILE,

CA: wwell ivve been busy

CA: i guess

AT: oH, wELL, iF YOU’RE JUST BUSY, 

AT: i GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE,

CA: actually i wwas recovvering from a nasty cold

AT: tHAT SOUNDS PRETTY BAD,

AT: aRE YOU OKAY?

CA: should be all healed up in about twwo wweeks

AT: oH, wELL, tHAT’S GOOD THEN, i GUESS,

CA: anywway, did you havve anything else you wwanted to talk about?

AT:  aRE YOU EXPECTING COMPANY ANYTIME SOON?

CA: not hardly

AT: oH, wELL, iF YOU WOULDN’T MIND SOME COMPANY,

AT: mAYBE I COULD DROP BY FOR A BIT SOMETIME SOON,

CA: i mean sure if you wwant to

CA: im not really much for company right noww

CA: but i wwouldnt be opposed to some companionship

AT: oKAY, wELL THEN I MIGHT VISIT TOMORROW,

CA: sure thing

AT: iT’S PRETTY LATE NOW SO IF YOU’RE SICK YOU MUST BE EVEN MORE TIRED THAN ME,

CA: i guess i am

AT: sO, uH, i’M GOING TO SLEEP NOW,

CA: ok

CA: hey tav?

AT: yES?

CA: thanks

caligulasAquarium (CA) ceased trolling adiosToreador (AT)

AT: yOU’RE WELCOME,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awww tav is such a cutie love himmmmm~~  
> *ahem*  
> Hey all! So again, no promises on the update front as cupcake-kei and I are both verrrrry verrrrrrrry busy people (being in school and student teaching and working while also getting regular exercise and cooking/cleaning and sometimes playing DnD gets very time consuming) and as much as we love this fic, living in two completely different time zones makes co-authoring difficult to manage. (we haven't even video chatted in like, over three months its a tragedy)
> 
> Thanks for your continued reading and support, we love you all!


	4. Food and Fiduspawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eridan and Tavros have a nice time, with only minor moments of awkward.

Eridan was still in a state of disbelief. He hadn’t expected anyone to ask after him, and now not only had Karkat apparently _worried_ about him for an entire perigee, but Tavros also seemed to be concerned about his wellbeing. He’d worried that thanks to his massive screw-up with Kar, and Fef spending more and more time with Sol, he’d have to get used to being alone for long periods of time. He was glad that Tavros had at least offered to visit, although honestly Eridan doubted the troll would actually make the long trek. Still, it was the thought that counted.

Eridan had been taking it _real_ easy lately, so he wasn't all that tired. Yeah, his chute was all messed up inside but he could still breathe and swim. He'd struck out a bit, but for all his talk of seadweller superiority he didn't actually feel _that_ attached to the sea. It was big, dark, cold, and full of creatures that could swallow him whole and not even realize they’d done it. Being in the ocean just made him feel that much more alone.

Languishing alone in his hive was not high on his list of fun activities, but with no friends and his chute the way it was there weren’t very many activities he _could_ do. He tried on all of his capes, decided they all looked wiggler-ish, pranced around in scarves, tried on a variety of jewelry, ran around randomly aiming Ahab’s Crosshairs around corners, and generally made a fool of himself. Fortunately there was no one there to see him. Then again, if there _had_ been anyone, maybe he wouldn’t have been so coddamn _bored_. Eridan was practicing his cape flourishes when his Trollian chat client indicated he had a message.

adiosToreador (AT) began trolling caligulasAquarium (CA)

AT: hI ERIDAN,  
AT: i wAS WONDERING IF YOU STILL WANTED COMPANY TODAY,  
CA: yeah sure if you feel like makin the trip  
CA: its kinda far  
AT: oH WELL ACTUALLY I’M ALREADY OUTSIDE,   
AT: sO IF YOU COULD MAYBE COME TO THE DOOR,  
AT: i KNOCKED BUT, uH, mAYBE YOU DIDN’T HEAR ME,  
CA: oh shit sorry i didnt hear you  
CA: ill be right there

caligulasAquarium ceased trolling adiosToreador

Eridan rushed to the entrance of his hive. He threw open the door, and Tavros sat awkwardly outside, a large container perched precariously on his lap. “I, uh, brought you soup,” Tavros explained awkwardly, lifting the soup and extending it towards Eridan.

“Oh,” Eridan said, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. “Wow,” he trilled a little on the ‘w’s, accepting the soup gratefully and looking at it to avoid looking at Tavros, “you didn’t have to do that.”

Tavros shrugged awkwardly. “I thought it might help? Since, you know, you’re feeling under the weather…” he sounded hesitant, and his voice rose at the end of sentences, leaving Eridan wondering whether or not he was actually done speaking.

“I mean it,” Eridan stepped aside so Tavros could wheel into the entryway, “you really didn’t have to do this. You didn’t even have to come.”

“I wanted to?” Tavros said, voice rising like it was a question, although Eridan was pretty sure it wasn’t actually a question. “So, I guess, I kind of had to. Because I was worried, and no one else seemed to be worried,” Tavros paused uncomfortably, spinning around to look at Eridan. “Did something happen?”

Eridan wasn’t sure how to answer that. “It’s...yeah, but, it’s complicated, and not entirely my story to tell, I guess,” he explained awkwardly.

“Oh, I understand,” Tavros said quickly. “Um, well, enjoy the soup…” he looked around. He seemed uncomfortable. Eridan began to panic. He’d been in Eridan’s hive a grand total of five seconds and was already looking for an excuse to leave? What sort of awful host was he?

“Why don’t we go to the food preparation block and heat up this soup?” Eridan suggested quickly, his w’s once again wobbling for all they were worth.  “You can help me eat it.”

“Oh, okay,” Tavros agreed, “that sounds nice.”

Eridan moved in the direction of the food preparation block, and Tavros followed behind, the wheels on his chair creaking comfortably. Eridan heated the soup. “Smells good,” he commented, and served up two bowls, handing one to Tavros and keeping one for himself. They ate in silence, Eridan not sure what to say and Tavros equally unsure of how to break the silence.

After scraping his spoon against the bottom of his empty bowl for the third time, Eridan set it aside and looked at Tavros. “So,” he said, before pausing awkwardly. “You like fiduspawn, right?”

Tavros glanced to the side rather than meet the seadweller’s gaze. “Uh, sort of? I guess? Yeah,” he agreed hesitantly.

“Do you wanna maybe play?” Eridan wobbled on the ‘w’ again.

Tavros didn't look too convinced, but after a moment he smiled weakly in Eridan's direction. “Okay,” he agreed, and while he still sounded hesitant to Eridan, it was a more confident hesitant than earlier. Eridan was confusing himself with his own observations. Tavros was nodding, his smile gradually fading. “So, fiduspawn?” he said.

Eridan stood, collecting their bowls and dropping them on the counter before bustling him out of the meal block and in the direction of his rumpus block. He glanced awkwardly at the troll, who was looking around his hive with wide eyes, admiring - or perhaps silently judging? - the decor. Eridan decided to give Tavros the benefit of the doubt, especially since he was the only one of his friends (could he even call them friends?) to visit him while he’d been ‘sick’. He felt a sudden lurch in his guts, momentarily wondering if, like Karkat, Tavros was only putting up with him because he _wanted_ something _._ He quickly banished the thought - suspicion and paranoia wouldn't do him any good and would just end up ruining any fun he might have with the bronze blooded troll. If Tavros wanted something from him… well, Eridan would likely give him what he wanted. After all, the sea troll had already gone to ridiculous lengths for the personal interaction he so craved. What was one more desperate bid for attention, really?  

Eridan fluffed his cape out as settled on the couch with a sigh. He glanced at Tavros, clearing his throat uncomfortably. “So...fiduspawn,” he said weakly. The soup had been good for his chute. So had the rest. It was still weak, he could feel that, but he felt like he hadn't taxed it overmuch. At least, not yet.

Eridan dealt their hands quickly, then paused, looking a bit embarrassed. “I don't really have an aggressive play style in fiduspawn,” he confessed. “Mostly I just breed the monsters.”

Tavros’s eyes widened. “Really?” he said, actually sounding excited rather than hesitant. Eridan mentally congratulated himself. “I usually breed them too!” Tavros was saying.

Eridan leaned forward, his hand of cards momentarily forgotten in his excitement. “Really?” he asked excitedly, “what do you breed for?”

Tavros blinked. “Um...breed _for_?”

Eridan nodded enthusiastically. “I usually breed for thunder types with fire and electricity as my sub-types,” he explained, “I like to breed for special abilities within their types-- sonic-boom, breathless, sun-walkin’…” Eridan slowed fractionally, seeing Tavros’s baffled look. “Sometimes I also breed for general types, like poison or fairy,” he said weakly. “How about you?”

“Oh, uh, I usually breed them to make the cutest monster,” Tavros said weakly. “I uh, don't really pay attention to stats? Or abilities?”

Eridan nodded slowly, trying not to feel foolish. Vriska had mentioned that Tavros played fiduspawn, and he’d _assumed_ that Tavros would at least have a general idea of the more common strategies. As far as Eridan knew, breeding the “cutest monster” wasn’t a particularly viable strategy. But he didn't want to be rude, so he just said weakly, “I bet you breed some pretty cute ones…” he sounded insincere, even to himself.

“Yeah!” Tavros said excitedly, eyes sparkling. “One time, I bred a whole new species! It had one big eye in the center of its head and a soft round tail and feathery wings and padded paws!”

Eridan was impressed. It was pretty rare to breed a new species. “That's cool!” he said appreciatively. “What could it do?”

“It made little noises! Like a quiet song!” Tavros clapped his hands to his cheeks as he remembered. “And it could put other monsters into a deep and restful sleep.”

Eridan stroked his chin. “That's a nifty special ability,” he said appreciatively, thinking of how useful it would be to have a monster that could put your opponent’s army to sleep. “Do you remember how you bred it?”

Tavros contemplated. “Um… I wrote it down at home, it took me almost two hours.”

Eridan gestured dismissively. “That's _nothin’_ , I sometimes take five or six hours to breed mine.”

Tavros looked impressed. “Most people think _I_ take too long.”

“Most people aren't breedin’ the _perfect_ army,” Eridan shot back haughtily.

“That's fair, I'm just trying to meet cute new monsters,” Tavros agreed mildly. “So I guess I don't need as much time as you.”

“That's all right,” Eridan said magnanimously, “most people don't need as much time as me.”

Tavros started shuffling through his cards.  His eyebrows climbed up his forehead. “Wow! You have some really rare cards!” he exclaimed.

Eridan grinned. “Think you’ll be able to breed anythin’ cute with them?”

Tavros grinned back. “Definitely!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never doubt the power of a kind comment! Every time I forget about this fic, someone comes in and says something nice and I remember "oh yeah technically we DO have more written for this fic" and then an update happens.  
> Thanks to all those lovely readers who consistently review, it definitely makes a difference and reminds me that this fic exists. I should be able to update again soon, since we managed to have another chapter pre-written in addition to this current chapter. Thanks so much for reading!


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